I've always seen my parents as one unit, even though for the first 33 years of my life, my dad spent about a third of the year sailing, and the rest at home with us.
Growing up, I heard stories of my dad's kindness towards his crewmates at sea. He was an officer, but lower-ranked crew members shared stories of how he'd spend time and dine with them even though he had access to areas reserved for officers. If they needed help, he would not hesitate to do what he could.
Every March, I'd feel bittersweet because he wasn't always around for recognition rites and graduation ceremonies. Now that I'm older, I can't imagine the guilt he must have felt.
If there's one person who can equal my father's kindness, it's my mom. I grew up in a small town, three hours from Manila, the country's capital. Before moving to our town, my mom spent her childhood and part of her adult years in Manila, so she knew the ins and outs of the city.
Since it was a small town, the spirit of bayanihan was alive and well in the '90s. I can't count the number of times a family friend, or a friend of a friend, would come to our home and ask my mom if she could accompany them to a government office in Manila to get whatever document was needed. And if my mom was free and didn't have prior commitments, the answer was always yes.
My parents' role as parents goes beyond my brother and me. Wherever they are, someone always ends up calling them "daddy" or "mommy" (probably because "papa" and "mama" are reserved for my brother and me), and today, I can't count the number of anak-anakans they've accumulated over the years. And every time I meet one, I beam with pride, even if quietly and stoically.
I wish I didn't love the finer things in life like my dad. Once in my mid-20s, I got a big bonus and told him I wanted to get him a watch because he'd been using the same one for years. It took us a while to finally pick one, and I sometimes wonder if he only agreed to it so my mom and I would shut up. He still wears that watch today, a decade later.
I wish I had my mother's courage. I don't think I could have handled what she gone through as a parent to me and my brother, especially when we were sick and had to be in hospitals, while my dad was away. I wish I could've done more when she had to break the news to my dad about my grandparents' deaths.
My parents are my best friends, and I think that's the biggest reason why most days, I feel a sense of safety, even when I'm living overseas or traveling on the other side of the world.